Life is changing. We have closed on the sale of our home in Arkansas, and have a week before we close on the purchase of our next home, in Alabama. It's been an emotional and physical roller coaster, with trips of one-way 9 hour drives, goodbyes to old and new friends and neighbors, and stepping into an area of the world that I've not experienced before.
It befuddles me.
It's different for my husband. His move goes like this:
Accept the job. Sign the paperwork. Start the job. Move into temporary housing (a few weeks in a hotel and a move to a duplex). One trip by UHaul. Same thing every day: Work. Home. Try a new church on Sunday. His relationships circle around work, and me.
For me, I'm back and forth. I go from excited to this new experience, to dreading saying good-bye. I cry over the thoughts of not knowing when I'll see my granddaughter next (I've babysat her almost 2 days a week for the last 18 months, and she is a main source of joy in my life, her parents some of my best friends). I look at the calendar and wonder when I'll get to see my other grandkids too. They're only 4 hours away from the new place, but it still takes effort. It's still emotional. It's still work that I don't have energy to do.
Speaking of work... My life feels a little upside down. Even before the move I felt God opening my hands... EMPTYING my hands. I'm ok with that. It's all for HIS glory, and I have always believed that He has me "let go of the good to grab hold of the better." Even when the "better" is not a large work account, a ministry, an article, a conference. If it's for His glory, He will bring it to be. I only want His will, with or without work. I'm ok with not doing anything. I'm ok with delighting in Him in stillness and rest.
In this season, this last week of temp housing living, I can delight in Him in the things He brings to me. I don't have friends here (yet), and we don't yet have a church. I keep to myself most of the time (except when I torment the Real Estate office across the alley) and cling to God's promises in the midst of the every day. I delight in the friendliness of the area, being called "Ma'am" and common courtesies displayed, like doors held open and kids saying "excuse me." I don't know if I can ever get used to that! People even utilize what we call "Pittsburgh left turns" - where the driver opposing you will allow you to safely turn left before they go on straight, so as not to hold up the cars behind you. Where else do they do this?
I'm looking forward to learning what lies ahead, the ways God will grow me, discovering this community, and sharing the area with our kids, grandkids, and friends who will venture to visit us here. I'm excited to learn the rhythms of the seasons here, from summer crowds on the lake and little league fields and where to buy the best snow cones. I'll even venture to say I hope to build relationships here, girlfriends who will walk with me, drink tea on the back deck and laugh over silly stories. Girlfriends who will pray with me and for me, my marriage, and any ministry God wants me to do. Girlfriends who will invest in our friendship and allow me to grow, and GO, if and when God moves us again.
I'm looking forward to venturing outside my norm and building relationships with those that may not know God, may not know Him as Creator, as Protector, as Savior. I want to evangelize the area, to encourage others to grow closer to Him and to know Him fully, whether it's on the walking trail or in our neighborhood, and to make an impression on this area for the Kingdom.