Monday, January 13, 2014

Middle-Aged Mondays... and a prayer...

I don't want to go into a lot of detail here, just yet anyways... but last week we found out that my father passed away. That in itself isn't unusual... family members move.. stuff happens... but what my sister had found out online was that our father passed away last October. His current wife chose to not contact us to tell us.

Our family has been fractured and estranged for a number of years, and I'm finding out that that is more common than I'd ever believed.

I'm thankful that I don't have to worry any more about my father's health... I don't have to worry if he'll call on my birthday (he never did anyways...) and I don't need to wonder if he's doing ok. I don't have to struggle over whether or not to send him a card for any holiday, or if he would ever get to actually see his card (his wife did everything possible to build a wall between the two of them and everyone on the outside).

I don't have to be concerned about the weather in his neighborhood, and if they'd make it to dialysis, or if they had money for food and utilities.

I'm so SO grateful for the chance meeting that we had last summer... and the closure it gave me then, and again today. There was something about knowing that this, THIS moment, is likely the last time I'll see them.. a perfectly timed gift. If you get that chance, take it. I had already grieved the lost relationship. I really didn't like the uncomfortable feelings of being in his presence again. I didn't want to be vulnerable again. But it was totally worth it.

I love that God has ALWAYS been my Heavenly Father! Now, more than ever, I'm having to rely on His arms, His wisdom, His strength. I'm so thankful that all the years I didn't have an earthly father in my life, I had the example of Jesus' love to grow in. His love was always alive in my life... and yet He cared so much for me that He allowed me to reconcile with my earthly father too... only God knew the days that were so closely numbered.

Has your family ever been fractured? How do you pray for your estranged family members?

Father, I thank You for placing me in a dysfunctional family, and for walking that road with me. I pray for my earthly father's widow, asking You to be real to her, and comforting her on the lonely days. I ask Father, that You will give my sisters and I grace, wisdom and strength, as we learn to walk this road that's so unfamiliar to us. Give us Your love to share with each other, and those around us. I pray that although we will never comprehend why things have happened this way, that Your love will always shine through us, and that Your peace will surpass all understanding. 

Father, thank You for the gift of the visit that You provided last summer. I know that there may be others who are walking the path of a disenfranchised family that may be reading this now. I pray that You will give them wisdom, patience, and courage to reach out to their estranged family member. I pray that the memories of GOOD will overcome the wrongs that have hurt them. Lord, reign supremely! We praise You! Amen

The last time I saw my earthly dad, Marinus J. "Pete" Peters, 6/2013.

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