So - 5 minutes of writing - no editing, no trackbacks, just fun... This week on Together (I could write 20 of these on this topic... each one different!)
We appear in the same space at the same time. All awkward smiles and giggles and laughter and an internal quiet that is hard. Harder than any rock. It sits in the pit of my stomach. I'm overwhelmed by the noise, the bodies, the sight of it all. Amazed and terrified all at once.
I don't have words. I see familiar. I want to reach beyond the familiar, but it's too much. I could take a quarter of this group, talk to them, seated in comfortable chairs and lead discussion; but all of this, ALL of this is just too much for me. I remember despite all my words and comforting and mobilizing and encouraging, I'm an introvert. At heart. Really.
I sneak away, past the photo booth, and the few babies and sneak off to the elevator, lemonade in hand. Another time and space.
Riding down, another, younger woman breathes a sigh of relief. I can totally relate. We start small, the feeling of being overwhelmed. The size of it all. The noise of it all... as good as it is, one on one is SO much more... manageable.
I can't imagine how Jesus did it; people pressing in on every side, forcing him to retreat onto the boat, going off quietly in a garden. How did He deal with these monstrous crowds? I can't imagine. I can't.
So we small chat, and a friend of hers joins us, and we're all in the same boat... together and alone. We decide to be brave and jump back upstairs to the photo booth for one series of pics. We go ahead and grab another in the pic at the last minute. We giggle and laugh and take silly pics - where I'm horrible with my mouth open and talking and making a silly face. But we did it. Together.
thanks Allume team, for all you have done to pour into this great event. I pray that YOUR prayers are answered... that this will be so much more than "just" a blogging conference. May we be changed. May we witness something new, fresh, and walk away changed...