Today's post on community struck a chord with me...someone who has always felt alone in the crowd:
Wow! Really good! Thanks for sharing openly and honestly!!
During my "18 years in the desert", I felt we HAD to be in community somewhere, with a job to do to keep whichever small church we went to going. Who would teach the toddlers? Or cook for the jr high kids after school? Since being delivered from the desert, and being lovingly placed here, we are in a big church...no a HUGE one...and although I've been given a ministry to head up there, when it comes to time for church service I think we wouldn't be missed...and perhaps we wouldn't, BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT.
The point is that when I sing worship, it's an offering to God. When I engage and apply a sermon to my life, I leave equipped for conversations with others the rest of the week. When I participate in tithing I am giving an offering and confirming that I trust God to work through our leaders to use my tithe for the equipping of community. (ok, honestly, we give online, so we don't have to be there...but you get my point.) and in our denomination of "independent Christian Churches", we share in communion each week, and I would miss this opportunity to partake of bread and juice, deep reflection, confession, and repentance.
So although it's "not about me", it's for my benefit....and ultimately for my growth, to honor and serve Him, to make my life an offering...
I've been really busy, and not busy enough. My heart has been breaking in unexpected places the past few months...friends passing away unexpectedly, illnesses attacking loved ones, me missing kids and grandkids, and not wanting to feel nostalgic for all the sadness around my heart right now. I feel tender and raw...vulnerable. I cry at the drop of a hat, even over silly things, like TALKING about not watching a movie that would make me cry...not even watching that movie. Just talking about it. Oh dear! I did want to touch base though as we approach Christmas...all the sadness is making me draw even nearer to Jesus, because He is my hope (and the hope of the world). I've enjoyed my time of Advent, singing in the choir at church, baking cookies for friends and neighbors. It helps me to shift gears emotionally and mentally when I can change it up a bit and do something new. And in God's goodness, He is allowing us to do something new for Christmas! I'll share the detai
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~marina