So today, in our meeting, we are asked to share what it is that God's been showing us since the last time we met 2 weeks ago. A few of the other women shared really moving-to-tears examples of how He has been revealing Himself to them, or how He was sustaining them during difficult seasons. I was in awe.
I was also dumbfounded. I mean, God shows me things daily that are really amazing - but it's fleeting - like His masterpiece in nature, or the sound of a child's laughter. So lovely.
Then I remembered a few nights ago, something really upset me. (I will interject here that I learned last night in our small group, that to be "upset" is really just saying you are ANGRY! I never knew! I am ONE ANGRY WOMAN!! LOL). Anyways, stuff in life has just been stressful, and I'd decided to just set it all aside - that God has a plan and I'll just trust him with it. But I was so upset the other night, I just had to get out of the house and get some fresh air. (for the record, it was not anything between my husband and I). So I put Abbey the Wonderdog's leash on, grabbed a blue bag, and went for a walk. A power walk. In the cool night air!
During this time, Satan was shouting lies to me all around. I wasn't fit to go on this trip. If I was going to be THIS way now, how could I ever make this journey. These other women are WAY more spiritual and mature than I am. I knew I wanted resolution to the problem, but I had no idea what that looked like, nor what I expected as an answer. All I could do was pray the name "Jesus", over and over again. The more I spoke His name, the more He made Himself known, and the more Satan was defeated. It reminded me of the line in the song "Your Great Name" by Natalie Grant; "The enemy, he has to leave, at the sound of Your Great Name."
THAT WAS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS LEARNING, WHAT I EXPERIENCED.
So it's my new armor.
I know our minds lie to us. Satan likes to lie to us in many ways...and it's always been hard for me to discern when his lies appear wrapped in self-pity or "low self esteem". Now I have a simple tool to banish any confusion...just saying the name of Jesus. :)
Oh, how I love His name...love HIM...