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Showing posts from March, 2011

today

lately i haven't been feeling like writing much. nothing is wrong, i've just been contemplative. my thoughts have been very deep, and somehow between my mind and my keyboard i'm losing my words (or my nerve) to write. i'm ok with that. the past few months i've been delving into my life, my hobbies; determining who i am and what i do, and what is different between the two. i've been learning that i need to let go of things that are "good" and hold on to things that are "most excellent" and sometimes i have a hard time telling the difference between the two...but i'm learning. what are the things that God allows me to do, and what did He create me to do? what are the most important things that i could accomplish in my life for His glory? so today, for no particular reason, this thought came to mind; "So often I'm praying for answers, healing, resolution, restoration, renewal. I'm looking for God to solve my issues, my p

Results

We all want immediate results. No one likes being in a waiting room...unless it's delaying the inevitable! My appointment went well today. I had the same technologist that I had a few weeks ago, and she did the magnified mammogram ("it WILL hurt - a pinch instead of a pressure, and it MAY bruise!") and also the ultrasound. After the mammogram she showed me the area of concern - and at that point she said up front - it doesn't look like cancer - it's smooth and round and cancer has a spiky look to it where the blood vessels are going in and out of it. It's also clear, the same color of your breast tissue...cancer is usually opaque, you can't see through it. But sure enough there was that 6cm round, smooth, area that looked like a drop of oil sitting on a bowl of water...you can see it's there, but it doesn't look much different. There was also a thought that it might be a lymph node, but the ultrasound ruled that out. I still can not feel it

resting in the midst of the storms of life...

"Then Jesus said,  “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.   Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.   For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”"  Matthew 11:28-30 there are few things as relaxing as resting in a warm, sunny spot on a couch, or the corner of my bed, when the sun is sitting in just the right spot. it makes me feel like a cat, curled up for a nap...the peace it brings is complete. i have no problem falling asleep, knowing full well that it's cold outside in the spring air - but the sunny shine is growing warmth in that one spot, just for me. purrrrrr just as easy, on a cold, blustery day, i can curl up under a cotton blanket and fall asleep to the sounds of rain on the window pane, tap tap tapping on the roof, clattering as it drips down the gutters. like a smooth jazz ensemble it will lull me to sleep.