Tuesday, November 2, 2010

On parenting your adult children....or mine at least...

I'm surprised sometimes, how the "mom" doesn't leave me....it really IS a hard thing to NOT do!

My youngest, Jason, will be graduating from college in December...gosh, I can say "next month" and count the weeks on my hands (not quite yet ONE hand...). His degree, Construction Management, is pretty well rounded, and although the construction industry is still affected by the recession I have no doubt that God can (and will) open the door to a good job for him. (OK - disclaimer here - "good job" in God's way of blessing, not necessarily meant to measure what man judges from the pay check stub, benefits, or what kind of place he'll live in...but that he will be used by God and keep his bills paid and make a difference in the world for Jesus!)

A few times now, he's mentioned wanting to go to CA to visit his "best friend" who attends college there, and even has tried to line up work out there for the past summer (which fell through). Now he's again praying and seeking work there...and it puts me in this place of being grown.

On one hand, I know what life in CA is like - I was born in Southern California, and lived there until my husband was transferred to a new job in GA - as a matter of fact - I was 8 months pregnant with Jason then, and he was the only one of my kids to NOT be born in CA!

I actually am a little (unnecessarily) stressed about him moving there. Part of me thinks that it's too dangerous (yes, that's a part of it) and part of me thinks he'll love it so much that he won't ever want to leave. Part of me thinks that it will rock his spiritual foundation (duh, like college didn't already do that?) and part of me sees that it's such a mission field, and a bit of refiner's fire too.

I KNOW that he has to make this decision on his own. I threw out my .02 worth this morning, and willed to pray "change my heart, Lord; change Jason's mind; or change the circumstances that would lead him there". So now all I do is pray, wait, and listen to every word that Jason says...what he's thinking...what's going on in the job search...and that he'll be wise enough to not believe everything he hears in the process, and that he'll figure out how much more it is to live in some places around the U.S. than in others...whether it's in CA, or KY, GA, or MO...or anywhere - cost of living affects wages and rent, gasoline and bread...and a paycheck is reflective of it all.

So...I was surprised today by how much a mom I can be sometimes. And I'm still expecting God to change me, and for my faith to grow, as I learn to REALLY let go...


  1. Oh... it doesn't get better it just changes doesn't it?! Mine are all 8 and under and all the things I'm worried over today I know will be over before I know it, but... I still worry and pray and hope that they'll be okay :) I just said a prayer for your Jason and for you! Be brave mom!

  2. Yes, it changes...and you can hardly ever get them to just sit on your lap and hug you when they get older (nor do you want them to stay on your lap for long, yet you long for that tenderness...)

    Don't worry. Embrace change. Realize that their faith has to become their own. HE will take care of the rest! Be willing to pray "God, do whatever, WHATEVER, You need to do to bring them into a full, intimate, love relationship with YOU" = and be willing to let them be hurt...for them to turn to God to pick up the pieces.

    Love them. Broken, dirty, heartbreakinginyourchest, but love them. HE loves them too. still.

    I'm doing better. God's honored my prayers...mostly the one I prayed that was "Change me..." (go figure!).

    I don't know where Jason will end up....but I know that there's prayer surrounding that decision. He'll have to own it, whatever it is, no matter what happens. He's grown up - an adult - and has to take the joy and pain of his decisions.

    It's all good. God is there...wherever "there" may be.

  3. How true that we often don't let ourselves be forgiven! We hold onto sin and it's resulting guilt like it's precious. Thanks for the reminder that grace awaits.


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