after a great birthday weekend, today - although a legal holiday - was back to work for mark, and back to normal life for me. no company. no plan. no schedule.
i managed to get up at a reasonable time...an oddity after being so sick last week. GOD was so gracious in healing me "just enough" to participate in life with my kids this weekend...i never could have done it i felt like i did on thursday.
so forward motions. little things around the house - we have a broken dishwasher again, so i spent some time looking for the home warranty number i need to call, but didn't find it yet. i hand washed dishes, and did a little laundry too. i stripped the spare room bed. played with abbey. read a lot, including the manual for the new camera we bought. then i took the camera out for it's first use...a shoot of fall colors with the short lens out at the local state park, and then out to the waterfront park, and then a last shot as i let abbey run around the neighborhood as i ran over to the golf course to catch the sunset.
i'm trying to make excuses for my own fear. i need to get over this. i've prayed for a long time that HE would open doors for me to minister in my neighborhood, and this would seemingly be a great opportunity. i need to be brave.
so tomorrow, i'll pull the coffee out, grab a few of my favorite tea bags, and go for a walk. if she's not home i think i'll leave it on her porch - maybe prepare a note to put with it with my contact information. i hope not only to make a friend, but to share my friend JESUS with her, to let HIM fill her emptiness in her life, to show her how HE wants to carry our burdens daily.
for now i'll rotate the laundry, say my prayers, and turn in for the night; trusting HIM to change my fear into triumph with the morning's light.
yes, LORD - change me today.